This New Season of Life

I had experienced a very tragic loss at the age of 18. It had changed my life. And from that moment on, I lived my life in a very, very different way. Which seems so cliche to say, but it is so insanely true. I began to jump into life with both feet instead of dipping my toes to test the water first. And in some ways, that concept has bit me in the butt but in others it has created all the most beautiful parts in my life.

I met Nick when I was 19. And we soon got engaged, got married, built a home together and started a family. All within 3 years. That was us jumping in with both feet. And sometimes when we argue our stubborn little butts off and just disagree with the other just because that's in our personalities, I think - should I have dipped my toes in? And the answer is always, no. You were right to jump in with both feet. Because we are newlyweds, first time home owners and new parents just learning how wonderful this life is we've been given. And all those three things we are will throw you major jabs and you learn & grow from them. I mean friends, those are some MAJOR life changes and accomplishments.

But because we both dove right into this life we now live, we became the first of many of our friends. First ones to be married, first ones to own a home and first ones to have a sweet bundle of love. So it has been hard for friends to understand these seasons of life. 

I have experienced the season of being a new wife. My naive self said, nothing will change with our relationship. It will stay the same, we will just now share a last name. Oh silly, silly me. And there were friends who didn't understand this. They were dating long term relationships and said, yeah I feel like I'm married practically, I know how you feel. No, no friend. You don't. I thought the same thing. But I made it through that season and entered the next.

Welcome to the season of being a home owner. I learned how hard it can be to have to say no, we don't have the money to go out. Or no, I can't go get drinks - I'm  saving money to get a kitchen table. And eventually, they stopped asking to hang. And it was really, really sad. But they just hadn't hit that season of life yet. But then, I quickly hit my latest season.

The season of motherhood. And with this season, I have grown. Grown into a woman who says no. No to the negativity, no to bad relationships, no to just all things taking up wasted space in my mind, heart and soul. My priorities have changed. I want to be a stay at home mama. I want to be there for all of his biggest accomplishments and small - like blowing raspberries. That's one of my favorite things. And unfortunately with this season of life, I've seen a lot of things and people go. Whether it has been their choice or mine. I just was telling my mama too, I've noticed I have unintentionally been purging unneeded things that aren't important in my life. Small things like unsubscribing from thousands of shopping emails subscriptions, taking unnecessary junk out of the house and even donating clothes I've been hanging on to in hopes of fitting into again one day. But I've been purging big things as well like friends who have become more of a stranger because our world's are just too different for us to understand each other. And I've been purging extra work. Saying no to working more and yes to more time at home. And in all, I think this change in my life is all due to my little guy. He's taught me less is more and there's beauty in the simple of things. Just like him blowing raspberries. There's so much beauty in the world of a baby. The littlest of things make their day brighter. Like a nuzzle from mama or big belly laugh because mama's shaking her hair all around. And can I just say, I love this season. And just like my word of the year, I will embrace this season until I reach the next.